True Design
by Arianna Leciav
Summary: Lily tries to recognize her fate, and figure out her life and what has happened in this One-Shot.


Author's Note: Everything is mine except for the HP Universe which belongs to the wonderful J. K. Rowling. The story was inspired by the song 'Somebody' by Bonnie McKee.

**True Design**

The potatoes were passed down the table, one girl pausing while she scooped a glob out onto her plate. Her friends chatted around her, talking about the History of Magic test they had had that day, the music a new band, Backwards Walking, was bringing out, their crush smiling at them, and other simple things. Some light rain was falling from the marble-purple ceiling, and people walked up and down the isle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff house tables.

She was still alone. No one brushed her shoulder in passing, no one breathed her name, she had no crush smiling at her, she even wished she had been in History of Magic just so she could complain about the test too. How can you be so alone in such a theater of life with hundreds of secrets being exchanged, and your friends giggling next to you?

She thought she knew, she couldn't ever be sure, not until it happened.

Looking to her friends, wondering why they were smiling when her own cheeks burned if she tried. She'd never had a boyfriend, but that truth never bothered her before; no reason was given for change. Understanding lurked in the shadows of thought; the thunder above teased with answer, but flickered away before saying it out right. Her friends' lives were leaving her behind, all of their shoulders cradled with a boy's.

Lily stood up, leaving the empty table of people behind her, walking slowly along the deserted halls, shivering in the draft the old castle housed. Pressing her hand along the crevice between two stones, she felt the cold of the rock meld with her palm, leaving the warmth to drift on its own accord in the breeze.

She thought of coldness throughout her body. The cold waves could take over, destroying the warmth that was so hard to get. So much work, lost in seconds. That seemed to define Life for Lily.

Twirling a bit of hair in her finger, Lily brought the silver bracelet up to green Arcadia. Caressed in Lily's numb fingers was her wristband, with twisted metal leaves embroidered into a small plate. Reading the etched lines, she was reminded that 'The sun is always shining somewhere.'

'Why can't that somewhere be here?'

Seraph pressed the trinket to her lips, letting the saying dissolve into her skin, making her believe.

Crossing back into existence, Lily continued her vigil down the bare hall. She turned a corner into people, everyone passing by, careful of their bubbles, walking as ghosts through a world of strangers.

Lily wondered what had happened to her wings as she slid down the wall, not caring that her legs were in the main walkway. People had changed, staring straight through each other and never touching as they side-stepped Lily's forlorn legs. Watching people walk by without a second glance at her, Lily knew the wing was clipped off.

Slowly the hall drained of the shadows, and Lily realized she was the only breathing thing there. As she stood from the ice floor, Lily walked to the steady singing of the clock at midnight. No soul passed her in her walk of solitude, and the Portrait Hole exposed the empty Common Room.

Lily met the chair at the other end, one that looked into the depth of the stars leaving the beholder drowning in the sense of inevitability. No matter how fast Lily ran, that feeling haunted her through the days, knowing there was something more than this state of humility.

No stars showed tonight; the rain suppressed the light back behind the maelstrom clouds.

Lily glanced behind her shoulder, someone's eyes were watching her, the sky whispered through the her hair. No one with a beating heart was there except for Lily, she knew this. She brushed off the feeling, the skies were lying. Yet, Lily pressed back the urge she felt, crying now, when she knew someone was watching, could hardly help her emotions.

All the times Lily had lost her wings, one by one, escaped her; why couldn't she feel the downward pull from gravity? She knew there were none left now, six gone without her noticing. How do you find lost wings, how can you reach the life you had before, one that towers above your existence?

Lily knew it was her fate to walk this path she had, that the existence from before would never return to her grasp. It was engraved into her bracelet; her hand traced the link, leaving no doubt in Lily's mind as to what she was here for, and what her lonely life was for.

Loneliness was something of a norm, a deranged normality that should never be. Lily believed she could live through this oddity in her life, though the small hope lurked in her head of someone who saw her for what she was.

She'd tried to kill that hope many times, but with human nature against her efforts, Lily always managed to miss this small piece that was immortal. Another hope was forming beside the old one now, one that was all she was, but it wavered as Lily remembered there wasn't supposed to be any hope for that.

As Lily looked out into the dark grounds, the newfound hope, along with the old as they went together, began to swell again. The revelation that if it was her purpose here, that it must be possible at all levels for her to succeed, and finally truly understand the strip of silver in her fist.

The moon broke through the cloud-cover, letting its rays shower the grass as a chaser. Its brightness from being full seemed to gladden even the lake, settling its surface to whispering waves. Lily gasped at the sight, not expecting anything to make her feel like she had a wing again tonight. The deer Lily saw was a magnificent eight pointer, staring right back at her.

The clouds shifted, dousing the deer in shadows, along with the feeling. The finality of her destiny swept back into Lily's thoughts, and she longed for that picture again. The little happiness it had given her was more than Lily had felt for a long time, possibly since she lost her wings.

Lying back into the pillows, Lily lost all hope of seeing the stag, and depression filled the void, swallowing her more than before, drowning her in tears. As Lily sank lower into the Pit, a shimmer of silver pulled her back from her mind's reality. The bracelet's words, that the sun always shines, kept Lily at the edge of sanity, soothing her sobbing impulses.

Realizing her hand was still balled around her bracelet, Lily looked down to it, seeing her hand shaking from the cold. The Grandfather clock told her it was nearly three in the morning, and a surprising wave of drowsiness hit Lily. Conjuring a blanket, she fell into the pillows, welcoming the little comfort they gave, letting sleep take her.

Only sleep never came. Lily heard the Portrait Hole open, and shifted her head to see a sopping James Potter dripping on the Asian rug.

A sudden burning ran through Lily's body, making her instantly warm, as she looked at the shivering boy gaze at her. The hopes Lily had tried to smother broke into the light, the bracelet burning into her palm. Comprehension dawned when Lily felt all her wings burst into bloom, giving her the sunshine she needed, her path clear to green Arcadia.

James started across the room, looking at Lily confused. He reached her, kneeling on the ground in front of her chair. Without any doubt, James took Lily's fiery hands in his blue ones. The warmth from Lily's fingers passed to James, leaving both with extra warmth radiated to the air around them.

* * *

Lily woke up, folding her blanket and putting it on the ground next to her chair. She tried to remember her dream, not believing it had been a dream. The stag and James, she was sure it had happened, but it seemed so much like a dream.

Lily fingered her silver wristband, seeing the sun shining out of the window. If it had been a dream, or if it had been real, Lily now saw what she'd always known. She could never go back to her old existence, but onto something better, something higher than the old tower now under her. James was her purpose, last night's dream, or reality, had told her that. Now that she knew that, Lily had to act.


End file.
